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WEEK 9

added 3/4/19

The Key to Success

Being aware of your feelings are the key to your success, such as knowing when you feel expanded vs contradicted. But let’s take it a step further and talk about using your emotions as your GPS or global positioning system.

How are you positioning yourself? For failure or success?

When you know that you stressed or a similar emotion, if you are able to resolve it, you take yourself out of a place of reaction, and go into a place of action. When you are in a reactive state, you are not in control.

Your emotions are here to guide you but you must be aware of them.

Exercise:

Set your phone alarm to go off every hour for the next few hours. When you hear the alarm, take a moment and touch base on how you feel. Do you feel expanded or contracted? Are you in a state of peace or anxiety? Feel into your body. Do you have muscle pain? Determine your emotional aand physical health. If necessary, do the following breathing exercise, or the Energy Accelerator Techniqueâ„¢ as away to shift your emotional state.

Check in every hour for the next several hours until you find yourself in a state of peace. Then extend your check in to every 3 hours, then 6 hours until you find yourself in a state of continued peace.

Boxed breathing exercise:

Breathe in your nose for a count of 4, hold for 4, breathe out through the mouth for 4, then hold for 4. Repeat. This is boxed breathing. It is best to breathe vertically, vs horizontally, meaning that you pull the breathe up from your belly instead of across from your lungs.


Your Anger Model

What was the anger model that you learned from your parents?

  • Fear of hurting others
  • Fear of loss
  • Fear of retaliation
  • Guilt
  • Avoidance of feeling/ suppression

Ask yourself, does this model still serve you? Or is it more powerful for you to give yourself permission to fear the anger instead of suppressing it?

Think of the people around you. How do they show or nor show their anger?


Approval vs Power

Too often people seek approval (feeling responsible for how others feel) vs power (being responsible fro how you feel). So to avoid judgment, criticism and disapproval, they seek to earn positive perceptions from others.

And they become people pleasers, constantly looking for approval, putting their needs/emotions aside.

Here are examples of the approval seeker:

  • Overly agreeable
  • Overly responsible for others
  • Avoid saying “no”
  • Laughs nervously to avoid conflict or confrontation
  • Second guess their actions/ replay conversations in their head
  • Constantly apologize
  • Asking others what they want/ never voicing their needs/ putting others needs first
  • Fear of judgment
  • Hesitation
  • Submissive body language
  • Fear of asking questions/fear of upset
  • Talk/entertain to avoid silence
  • Needs to be liked

Here’s examples of the powerful person:

  • Speaks from their heart, honestly and without judgment of themself or others
  • Know that their opinions, needs and thoughts matter
  • Know they don’t need to do or be anyone except themself
  • Gives freely of themself and allows others permission to do the same
  • Fights for what matters and is willing to walk away from what doesn’t
  • Does his best, knowing that it’s enough
  • Seeks people who like him vs seeks to be liked

When a person seeks approval, they are disconnected from their heart and the truth of who they are. They often carry a lot of guilt and resentment. It can even show up as physical pain, from carrying all of their emotional pain.


Be Powerful

So how do you assert your powerful self?

  • Establish clear boundaries
  • Know what you want/ need
  • Police your Bill of Rights
  • Put your needs first/ be responsible for you
  • Speak up
  • Make your word law/ be reliable
  • Be accountable for your words and actions- own your mistakes and errors
  • Have integrity/ practice your values
  • Practice non- judgment of self and others
  • Don’t share or explain information or experiences that are not yours to share
  • Offer liberal interpretation of the words, actions and intentions of others

It’s important to note here that all of the qualities to be powerful are what it takes to be trustworthy. If you deal with someone who does not exhibit these characteristics, then you need to recognize them as such and handle them accordingly. If you decide to trust them with your heart or confidential information, you are setting yourself up by not trusting your own guidance. And you should consider asking yourself why. What beliefs are in play?

week 8

week 10